Every year on my birthday my mum will tell the stories of me crying on my birthdays. She will ask if I still hate them. Do I?
When I was little, I despised birthdays. I hated getting older. I never wanted to grow up, I wanted to stay a child. Happy, worriless, full of ideas and imagination. I was so afraid of losing all that. On every birthday, I would wake up and start crying because I didn’t want it to happen. That must have gone on until I was about 12!
And even though I then learned how rude it was to cry whilst the others sing for me, I still hated my birthdays. My teenage years were hard and I kept wishing that I could still be the carefree child I was before. Sometimes I pretended still being a child, even though I was 14 already. Looking younger played the trick! 😉
As a teenager, every time I grew a year older I was reminded of everything I hadn’t achieved during the past year. I used to look up to so many amazing women: Anne Frank wrote her world-famous diaries at 13. Dakota Fanning was a movie star at 15. Malala Yousafzai won a Nobel Prize at 17. Veronica Roth published “Divergent” at university. There are so many people who finished uni under the age of 20 and were saving the world at my age. And I… had achieved nothing. Nothing worth speaking about at least. And every birthday reminded me of that.
Last year I decided to change my look on life. I knew I had lost several years, because I never knew what to do with my life. But last year I realised that it’s not too late to put my dreams into action. So this year I travelled a lot. I studied hard. Did a summer school in London. Applied for the coolest jobs. Became self-employed. Worked with my dream brands. Worked my butt off. Started building my own business.
Now, here I am, 24 today. Today I realise, that I most probably won’t make the list of “Most Successful Entrepreneurs Under 25”. Again, I have to swallow – but not as hard. I’m finally on my right path. Next year will be so amazing, and this birthday is a milestone for me finally putting my dreams into action. And I have amazing people around me. I’m a happy person myself, and so much more positive about my future now. I have grown up so much during the last year, but still stayed that little child inside. All that is SO worth celebrating.
Happy Birthday, Lottie. I am genuinely excited for today.
The photos: 1. Happy child Lottie. 2. My passion for 20 years: sauna and playing in the snow. 3. I did figure skating from age 5-13. 4. 10-year old Lottie reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. 5. Lili’s and my first performance. Lili is 8, I am 16.