Coping with Anxieties

My heart starts pounding, I don’t know what I should do, I don’t know how I should react or if I should react at all, I grind my teeth, I feel like crying, then I miss the chance and feel bad the entire day. The entire day, or even longer. Until the thing is solved really. Which is just when the new issue will come up and the feelings start all over again. That’s what my anxieties make me like.

I must be one of the most positive, happy, jumpy 23-year-old girls you can find. If I like you, I will be very bubbly and overflowing with things to talk about. Which makes it so hard for some people to understand, that that’s not always the way I am.

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I am afraid of things. And those things cause me the panicky feeling I just described. Talking about this makes me feel completely silly, because I know most people out there won’t understand. I am afraid of phone calls. I can’t call anyone, I don’t pick the phone up if someone calls, and if it’s not my very close friends, I usually can’t even listen to voice messages. Not even on Whatsapp. It will take me several days to open a voice message if I’m not sure what it will be about and sometimes I will have my sister listen to them before I do, just in order to check that they’ll be alright. Isn’t it silly?

The next thing I am afraid of is even worse, because it makes an impact on my finance situation. I am extremely afraid of booking flights. Or any trips, really. I am never sure if the day or flight I chose is the best possible option or if I should go for a different day after all – or not book at all! Which always means that I will keep struggling, panicking, sweating, discussing, rethinking things for days until the flight prices go up so high that it makes me completely broke. Alone this year I have had to skip three entire trips just because I didn’t manage to book in time and then the flights ended up being around 500€ (starting at 180€ or so!).

I don’t like people I don’t know. I’m not really outgoing and won’t really talk to you if I don’t know you – suddenly bubbly happy little Lottie will turn into the girl standing in the corner. Which is silly – that was proven last Saturday when a friend dragged me along to meet completely new people and despite my hiding in the beginning, we ended up having a fab time! Different than other people struggling with anxieties, I am not afraid of talking in front of a lot of people though. Actually I’m pretty comfortable doing that. Thank god for that!

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But what’s way more important – I need to cope with those situation that make me uncomfortable. There’s no way around them. And there are three things that I have started doing in order to get there.

  1.  See the big picture. Does it make a huge difference if I fly a day earlier or later? What will I remember in half a year? Usually it doesn’t make a difference – so why bother?
  2. Remember how I’ll feel afterwards. I will be relieved. The anxiety will be over. The struggle will be put behind me. It all will turn into something wonderful. So why not try to get there asap?
  3. Talk to someone. Usually it’s enough to tell my little sister that I’m not able to do a phone call or book a flight. Or open mail (especially bills!). She doesn’t even have to say much – I myself will realize how silly the situation is! 😛

Number 2 is most helpful. The knowledge of feeling good afterwards. But I have to admit, I do have some natural anti-anxiety medication as well. It helps me calm down and get to a point where I can think logically again. And I keep putting myself into those situations in the hope that one day I will be so used to them that they won’t scare me anymore.

What about you, lovely people out there? Do you have any of these issues and moreover, do you have tips for me? Let’s help each other!

Love you lots,
Lottie

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6 Comments

  1. 04/09/2016 / 00:51

    amazing post lottie! it is great to see people opening up about anxiety; i wish i could do this a bit more! are you on twitter?

  2. 17/08/2016 / 18:10

    Hi!
    This is such an amazing post! Thank you for sharing, you seem such a nice person!
    Xx
    vanityflows.blogspot.be

  3. 16/08/2016 / 11:54

    Hi Lottie!

    Amazing post! I’m struggling with some of the things you wrote and it’s always nice to know that others struggle too. Thank you for posting this :)

    Could you maybe write a post about starting a blog and tell tips to make it work.

    Moikka!

    kirjotan nyt vielä suomeksikin palautetta kun en jaksa enempää vääntää englanniksi 😀 On niin upeeta että uskallat kirjottaa näin henkilökohtaisesta asiasta. On aina mukava lukea jonkun toisen kokemuksia ja ajatuksia asiasta.

    Ja tosiaan voisitkohan ehkä joskus kirjoittaa sun kokemuksista blogin aloittamiseen ja miten päädyit tälle blogi pohjalle kirjoittamaan ja mitä tulisi ottaa huomioon kun alottaa. Entä kun kirjoitat kahdella kielellä, vinkkejä siihen :)

  4. Naomi
    09/08/2016 / 03:37

    Wow when i see you on snapchat I think your amazing and confident but this post was very eye opening and a great insight to you thank you for sharing something so personal with us! :)

  5. 09/08/2016 / 02:27

    Hi Lottie!

    Wonderful post. Actually, I was not sure if I have those anxiety issues or not but after reading your post, I have to admit, I totally do!!! If I have a meeting for example, it starts like 10-15 minutes before and I feel my pulse going crazy, I panic, my voice is cracking..it all goes away after the first seconds in this meeting. And I don’t have it all the time. But I get through it and like you said, afterwards you feel so good! Anyway, I was wondering what kind of natural medication you were referring to? I’m very interested..
    Keep up the good writing and enjoying life :)

    Maria

  6. Monika
    08/08/2016 / 15:00

    Hey Lottie!
    I first want to thank you so much for this blog post because for me who unfortunetely struggles with anxiety, this blog post made me feel a lot better thinking that I’m not the only one! I also hate phone calls, waiting in cues, but my worst fear is talking in public! These solutions you gave were very helpful and I’m sure they will definitely help and I’ll be finally able to be the person I once was confident, outgoing but most important, happy! Sending you lots of love and thank you so much again!