The little thoughts in our minds can make big differences. As you must know by now, I have moved to London. Living in London one day has always been one of my dreams. and here I am. If you have seen my blogs, you will know that I am currently ticking all the dream boxes off. I am designing, I am singing and acting. And I’m dancing.
Dance is what I want to talk about today. Because I was so excited to come to London and get back to my favourite hobby, especially after all the years of not dancing at all. I thought I’d dive right into it, be in my element and be a prima ballerina in no time again. Turns out, I’m not.
When I first noticed that I don’t pick up routines as quickly as I used to, I was shocked. It made (and definitely still makes) me so sad that my legs don’t rise as high at kicks as the other girls. In tumbling class I’m the only one who can’t do a front walkover. In jazz I do my pirouettes wrong as my head doesn’t stay in the right position. And when we perform routines, I sometimes feel like crying, because I seem to be the only girl who still can’t remember them at the end of the class.
I was devastated. I hated myself and my weak legs. My mind kept asking me “what if I had never stopped dancing as a teenager?”, “what if I had started ballet at five?”, “what if I had kept stretching like I always wanted to?”… would I be better now? Would I be intermediate or advanced? Would I be good enough to audition for musicals already and make that dream come true too? If I had kept practicing when I started doing walkovers, could I maybe do a back walkover as well now? If I had never stopped stretching, would my kicks be as high as the other girls’?
But then I noticed, what if I stopped questioning myself and started training instead, would I maybe be good in a couple of months? What if I don’t start now, will I ever be able to do a walkover? What if I come to training three times a week, maybe my kicks will soon be good too?
Looking back at the mistakes we did when we were younger, or the things we didn’t do when we should have done them, will never help up get forward. Think a good thought. Acknowledging that I still have a lot to learn, but knowing that now is the time and chance to go for it, I should go for it instead of crying about the lost years. If I want to make my dream of dancing in a musical come true, I have to train for it, and better now than never! And even if I will never make it come true – I just love, love, love the feeling of dancing. It makes me so happy. Every drop of sweat is worth it. And the feeling of progression is just the best in the world.
So stop asking “what if” and get into that training room – or whatever it is you want to be better at. Just remember to not be too strict on yourself. Have a swig of water and treat yourself well. Think positive thoughts – especially about yourself. The progression will come with time, I have trust in you – and me.
BWT is an official pink ribbon partner (AT / DE / CH) in order to fight breast cancer, and I’m proud to be part of it! And when there is something I have learned something during my life, it is the fact that mental health and physical health go hand in hand. Therefore it is so important to stop punishing ourselves – especially mentally. It is important that we care for ourselves and make provisions to stay healthy. A good thought is a good start. You’re worth it.